Car trip by Alexandra Bălășoiu

I am a living body, thousands of things move in me, and yet everything stays still. I am moving forward in an intelligent box, composed of people concerned with progress, innovation and breaking records. I wonder if I will be able to arrive at once with myself. Should I park myself in the present, close my eyelids and … die?

I’m afraid of these straight roads, at the edge of the field. You walk on them at too high a speed to hear a bird or a thought. They all run away and they all scream. Including the wind. He doesn’t even get to caress a cheek anymore. He claps his hands and spreads his fingers, scatters my thoughts on this empty field so that I can forget about myself and my destination. Those sheep are not my thoughts, for they go together. My thoughts do not do that, and they are not all white and only sometimes they are fluffy. They don’t even breathe usually because they are dead, read from a 4th-grade civics book and now written in a volume of short prose.

How many roads do you need to walk before building one?

To feel the asphalt, the grass, the sand, the stones in your bare soles, in your boots, in your slippers. Then sink into the mud, jump into puddles and splash your face. Smile at a stranger, take her hand and take a walk on the beach. Then you can tell him about your path, which is different and new and innovative and in other colors. Your road that smells of wine, because the grapes tread alone, they roll from the field to the street. Those grapes are not my thoughts either, because they don’t stay in bunches but like to distance themselves. How do I create this reality if my thoughts are nowhere to be seen?

The article was written as part of the work process within. [ship of fools] An Indie Box project co-financed by the National Cultural Fund Administration. The project does not necessarily represent the position of the National Cultural Fund Administration. AFCN is not responsible for the content of the project or how the results of the project may be used. These are entirely the responsibility of the beneficiary of the funding.

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